You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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