I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
