Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
