worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
