..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
