I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
