her vagine was all disorganized.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
