RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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