My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
