If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
