This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
