nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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