? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
