Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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