I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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