I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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