he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
