whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
