That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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