She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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