all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Randomize
