I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
