sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
