You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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