physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I looked at my own cervix.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
