Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby

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(513): View more from Ohio

Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.

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(415): View more from California

i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.

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(802): View more from Vermont

my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...

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(480): View more from Arizona

Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.

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(519): View more from Ontario

She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm stealing this baby.

(1-719): View more from Colorado

Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.

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(305): View more from Florida

He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?

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