wanna go halves on a baby?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
