ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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