Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
