Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize