Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
