i was born a porn star she said
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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