So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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