there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
