so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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