I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
