I need help removing her.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
