yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
