I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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