She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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