sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
