I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
