We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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