butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
