mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
