Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
