I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
