Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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