I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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