so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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