i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
