Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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