My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
