Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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