She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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