sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
