I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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