I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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